We have seen a shift in mindset from fixed to growth in the hundreds of the players we have coached over the years simply by the words we use when speaking to them. It's as if we've been given a magical wand in the form of our language to assist our children in developing a growth mindset. 

Here are five things parents can say to help their Fremont Rush soccer players develop a growth mindset.

1. Value the EFFORT rather than the outcome.

Make a point of praising their efforts by saying things like, "Wow, you sure are a muddy, sweaty mess." Clearly, you worked really hard. Excellent work." "What was the most difficult aspect of practice?"

It's not about the score of the game, the goal they scored, or the number of juggles they got; it's about the focus and effort they put in to get the result. Please be as specific as possible with your feedback.

2. Showcase their positive choices.

Did they decide to pass the ball against the wall rather than watch TV? Did they practice juggling for 20 minutes before dinner? "Excellent way to spend your time before dinner." Make sure to only discuss the option, not the possible outcomes.

3. Pay close attention to and listen to yourself.

Pay attention to your body language when talking to your child or playing a game, and make sure you're focusing on effort rather than results. A disappointed stomp and scream when they or a teammate misses a shot on goal, or a sign of frustration when a goal is scored against your child's team, are things your child remembers just as much as an encouraging cheer or an optimistic response.

4. Show your child that you care about their development by asking them questions and simply listening to their responses.

"How did you do in practice tonight?" "What was the most difficult part of the game?" "How did your coach address the team?" "What did you discover today?" Listening and learning provide incredible insights into the person they are becoming and helps them feel excited and cared for as a person, rather than always having to perform and win your approval as an athlete.

5. Find two specific and memorable times during a game when they worked hard or made a good decision - and tell them how much fun it was to watch them do that.

"It was amazing how you chased down their forward in the first half." I believe you were running as fast as you possibly could. It took everything I had not to cheer you on and embarrass you!" "Your decision to sit on the bench and watch the game while you weren't playing was fantastic."

Remember that parents and coaches should emphasize the process (practice, effort, improvement). Not only does this make sports more enjoyable for kids, but it also helps foster a growth mindset.

Go Rush!